I had Covid 19 it was quite a scene I stayed locked up in a box Had bird flu wouldn't wish it on you Now I got the monkeypox Feeling pretty funky though I haven't touched a monkey For months so this is quite a shock I left salmonella for a peanut eating fella 'Cause I'm down with the monkeypox Monkey see as monkey do I got blistered skin and I'm turning blue I told my sister Anna, hey, get me a banana And she got the monkeypox too They're telling me its an STD So please zip up your rocks But I swear I didn't sack a single macaque So how'd I get the monkeypox? Monkey see as monkey do I got blistered skin and I'm turning blue I groomed my brother Herman by picking out the vermin And he got the monkeypox too So keep it limp when you're with a chimp Keep on your shoes and your socks Don't crash in the villa of an amorous gorilla Or you'll get the monkeypox Monkey see as monkey do I got blistered skin and I'm turning blue I told my friend Marie quit swinging in the trees Or you'll get the monkeypox too I groomed my brother Herman by picking out the vermin And he got the monkeypox too I told my sister Anna, hey, get me a banana And she got the monkeypox too

When major corporations fled from Moscow McDonald's was among the first to vacate The Russian's opened up their own knock-off now But everything they do is second rate McRussian Big Mac is potato McRussian Quarter Pounder is potato Nyet comrade, no sliced tomato 'Cause the Deluxe Chicken Sandwich is potato There's a reason that the US won the Cold War And the Soviet Union fell away We got bigger cups that can hold more And fry a better burger any day McRussian Big Mac is potato McRussian Quarter Pounder is potato Nyet comrade, no sliced tomato 'Cause the Deluxe Chicken Sandwich is potato No longer we are serving Diet Coke Try borscht soda, it barely makes you choke Our new menu might seem glib At least we still have Tab and Mr. Pibb McRussian Big Mac is potato McRussian Quarter Pounder is potato Nyet comrade, no sliced tomato 'Cause the Deluxe Chicken Sandwich is potato McRussian Egg McMuffin? ..... potato McRussian McRib ...... potato No dissident would ever dare to say no At least the Russian fries are potato Papa Ivan pizza ..... potato Burger Czar Whopper .... potato KGB fried chicken ..... potato Russian Arby's sandwich is still that same weird beef-like product that they use at Arby's in America

It's not about a fetus, it's not about the guns It's not about your freedom, your daughters or your sons It's not about the children and keeping them alive You know what it's about: $29.95 It's not about elections, it's not about the queers It's not about the darkies, though it plays upon your fears It's not about the Bidens or any of that jive You know what it's about: $29.95 Red MAGA hat: $29.95, Don't Tread on Me flag: $29.95 Save America yard sign; $29.95 Show how much you care for $29.95 $29.95, a small price to pay, $29.95, to have it your way $29.95,to mean what you say $29.95 place your order today You can't budge the Senate with your heartfelt plea Not like they are unaware, unable to see If you want their attention, no need to connive All you're gonna need: $29.95 It ain't about the pundits or any cable news Or any self-righteous bile that they spew If you ever wonder when good sense will arrive Know it has been sold for $29.95

The stickers on your car tell exactly who you are That's great, good for you, I don't care Got something to say with the flag that you display That's great, good for you, I don't care No need for a show cause I don't need to know Every thought that's in your head Slow down the flow, man I don't wanna know Some things are better left unsaid Opinions you blurt with the slogan on your shirt That's great, good for you, I don't care Darn near like a church and you purchased all the merch That's great, good for you, I don't care Everybody has to know everything about every- one all the time, or so I've read Spilling every secret out, gotta say without a doubt Most things are better left unsaid Into this or that, well whatever's on your hat That's great, good for you, I don't care Share it all online, I suppose that's all just fine That's great, good for you, I don't care

Got an urgent call, bad news today Said get to the high school right away A tragedy of scale indeed Your teenage kid got caught with weed I got the message on the point So I snuffed out my lunch time joint The kid could die, he won't succeed! Your teenage kid got caught with weed Life is over, there's no hope Once that kid starts smokin' dope They fall in with a seedy lot With losers like these who have used pot Like Steve Jobs and Bill Gates Barack Obama and his old mates And Abraham Lincoln, what could he be thinkin? Yeah none of them amounted to much Like Justice Clarence Thomas and Oprah too Even Ben and Jerry known to puff a doob And don't' forget to mention a buzzin' Bill Clinton Yeah none of them amounted to much They said the kid will need therapy Inform the law of this crime spree An intervention is in need Your teenage kid got caught with weed Life is over, there's no hope Once that kid starts smokin' dope They fall in with a seedy lot With losers like these who have used pot Like former president W Bush And even Al Gore was a fan of the kush And even the likes of Neil DeGrasse Tyson None of them amounted to much George Washington grew hemp leaf Even Ted Turner tried smokin' spliffs And maybe you heard billionaire Bloomberg Yeah none of them amounted to much Now if your business wants the best Do a THC drug test Check their hair, inspect their pee So you don't end up with losers like these Like Steve Jobs and Bill Gates Barack Obama and his old mates And Abraham Lincoln, what could he be thinkin? Yeah none of them amounted to much Like former president W Bush And even Al Gore was a fan of the kush And don't' forget to mention a buzzin' Bill Clinton Yeah none of them amounted to much Yeah none of them amounted to much Thanks to weed they never did much

A friend bought into crypto, lost money and got pissed I told him he was a dumbass, buying things that don't exist Ghosts in a cloud of ether, a vaporizing mist Bet it all and took a fall with the tech weenie capitalists I was kinda glad to see that crypto guy go down Tech weenies raking in dollars by the pound A fraying of the fabric, we're coming all unwound So I was kinda glad to see that crypto guy go down I enjoyed a little schadenfreude when I heard the news Meta lost eight billion on the latest online ruse Shadows on a smokescreen, mirages that eclipse We should pay imaginary dollars to the tech weenie capitalists Twitter took a tumble, and I chuckled when I heard Instead of like making a profit, dude shot that little blue bird A haze of steam and smog, a fog that won't persist Jumbled code not always gold to a tech weenie capitalist

Come back to Church it's been a while We promise fewer pedophiles Catholicism's more fun and much safer We welcome all without exception 'less you're into contraception You can come but no communion wafer No communion wafer for you, no communion wafer for you Though you're Christian through and through We don't like your point of view So no communion wafer for you We're sorry 'bout past imposition Holy wars, the Inquisition Don't judge us by opinions we did voice Maybe we can make the hosts Taste real good, just like French toast Try them if you are not into choice No communion wafer for you, no communion wafer for you Though you're Christian through and through We don't like your point of view So no communion wafer for you Back in Catholic grade school Father Busch kept iron rule Intimidated children, verbally attacked He made us hate religion class Expected us to kiss his ass Still you wonder why I won't come back No communion wafer for me, no communion wafer for me And you can keep up that decree With which most people disagree So no communion wafer for me No communion wafer for you, no communion wafer for you Though you're Christian through and through We don't like your point of view So no communion wafer for you Come back to Church it's been a while We promise fewer pedophiles.....

I guess thoughts are made of Kevlar and prayers are body armor She was sure between the two not one gunman could harm her When the shooting started, it still did not alarm her Jesus caught the bullets, now ain't he such a charmer Thoughts and prayers will put away my cares Go ahead and shoot at me, I will not despair Thoughts and prayers pause the bullets in mid air No hurtin' is for certain, if you've got thoughts and prayers Thoughts are like a force field, prayers are like a shield They'll stop ballistic missiles or any weapon one could wield No one will be injured, no wounds that must be healed Jesus jammed the trigger, kept every bullet sealed I was in the crowd when the gunshots rang out loud A rain of bullets burst out of the skies I thought and I prayed, but I guess one bullet strayed And nailed me right between the eyes

Stevie was a regular straight boy into dinosaurs and sports Now he wants to play with Barbies and run around in frilly pink shorts So I got to wondering what set him on this path Everything was kosher 'til he started 3rd grade math Super-woke liberal math books Grooming all the kids today Super-woke liberal math books Turning all the kiddies gay If you wanna bait propaganda Well, where to place the hook? Put it somewhere that all kids love Like in a math textbook "Johnny had 2 testes and his gender reassigned If we take away 2 testes, now how many will we find?" Super-woke liberal math books Grooming all the kids today Super-woke liberal math books Turning all the kiddies gay You can trust politicians Believe all that they say But don't trust Mathematicians they wanna turn the whole world gay Super-woke liberal math books Grooming all the kids today Super-woke liberal math books Turning all the kiddies gay

Roe Roe Roe v Wade used to be a law Amy couldn't bear it struck it down with Kavanaugh Roe Roe Roe v Wade once you had a choice Thanks to Neil and Sam and Clarence you don't have a voice Roe Roe Roe v Wade looks as though it's through Have to do it on your own, a coat hanger will do