U.S. Divorce

Eye to eye we tried to see
Through counseling and therapy
Still all we ever do is fight
But there’s a way to make it right

Chorus
Divorce, of course, the US should divorce
Sign the papers nicely, or with a little force
We had ourselves a real good run but got hopelessly off course
Divorce, of course, the US should divorce

We get California and New York
You get the states that produce the most pork
You can have Indiana and Lou-isiana
And though I heard it’s nice, you can have Montana
The Northeast is ours, we’ll take Minnesota
You get the South and both of the Dakotas
We get the Northwest, we’ll give you Alaska
Hawaii’s ours, I won’t even ask ya

Chorus

We’ll take the blacks and the Mexicans too
And just to be fair, we’ll split the Jews
You won’t take Arabs but you might take Chinks
We get the brains, you get the dinks
You take the Bush’s and that turtle McConnell
We’ll be stuck with Rosie O’Donnell
Please keep Newt and we’ll keep Barack
Schwarzenegger’s yours, but we’re taking the Rock

Chorus

You can write yourselves a new Constitution
Outlaw abortion and Evolution
You can all go to that stupid Noah’s Ark museum in Kentucky
That claims humans and dinosaurs coexisted just 6,000 years ago…..