I used to always try to be a real nice guy
That got me nowhere fast, nice guys always come in last
So one day I made a change, my life I did rearrange
I became a giant ass, now my future is bright at last
Now I’m a jerk and everyone loves me
Now I’m a jerk I’ve got it made
No need to be polite, I might even pick a fight
I’m such a blight, man ain’t I great
I’ll tell you your butt looks fat, I’ll knock off your cowboy hat
I’ll kick your dog and your cat, I might use a baseball bat
All the guys wanna be my friend, All the girls wanna take me in
I might run for president, or build a jerk monument
I can’t say I understand why a prick with a heavy hand
Is in such high demand, in charge and in command
I guess if you are a sheep, you’ll want a mean Bo-Peep
So now you can get some sleep and never have to think too deep
Has been on Dr. Demento and the Funny Music Project, so at least a few people thought it was funny, besides, Kurt thinks it is, and ya know, that's cool enough.
