Racially Profile Me I can drive right past the police station, open beer in hand Shooting out my window with no fear of reprimand Do donuts in the front yard of a family with dark skin I know I’ll be forgiven for my every little sin, ‘cause I’m a.. Short haired middle aged white guy in a pickup truck Profiled as someone who can’t be up to much The speed limit’s 40 and you’re nailed at 41 While us short haired middle aged white guys have the fun They’ll never pull me over for a taillight out in back You won’t be so lucky with your nerve to drive while black Make sure you follow all the rules exactly on the spot Not signaling when you change lanes just might get you shot, you should be a.. If you want to win big, get short blond wig You won’t be surprised with blue contacts in your eyes You’ll be free to race with white powder on your face You can be drunk and high if you’re a middle aged white guy I know it’s not fair that there should be such bias But leveling the field might cause some major riots I thank the good Lord every day for my straight up luck That I’m a short haired middle aged white guy in a pickup truck, yes I’m a..

Is It Getting Hot in Here? Burn up the gas and burn up all the oil Fire the coal until we all boil A trillion tons of carbon won’t affect the atmosphere Is it just me or is it getting hot in here? Don’t go green ‘cause we’re in the red Wind and solar might as well be dead A longer summer is a cause for cheer Is it just me or is it getting hot in here? Chorus Is it just me or is it getting hot in here? Global warming is not my fear I’ll be swimming in December with an ice cold beer Is it just me or is it getting hot in here? I’ll be surfing through Manhattan when the oceans rise A beach house in Atlanta what a nice surprise Environmental Nazis better all steer clear Is it just me or is it getting hot in here? Tree hugging hippies and eco-freaks Can join the penguins on the las ice sheets And if they melt I won’t shed a tear Is it just me or is it getting hot in here? It might feel strange, this climate change If your city gets flooded, we’ll just rearrange Your driveway’s now a moat for your brand new motor boat I’m sure you’ll find a way to make your house float Hot as Death Valley in the summertime Without another winter I’ll be doing fine Farming in Siberia is getting near Is it just me or is it getting hot in here?

These low low prices are oh so nices, My advice is shop today I'll gladly trample some old grandpa, he shoulda got out of my way There's not enough, I need more stuff, I will play rough to win the prize It's the reason for this whole season, so pleasin' to my eyes Black Friday it's like crack high day, smack my way to a deal Black Friday it's attack or die day, hijack my way to a steal Scream and holler to save a dollar, I gotta collar merchandise I'll fight and claw for what I saw, only all will suffice Black Friday..... Bargain hunt diseases are the only thing that pleases tis the season to consume So to hell with our man Jesus, gift wrap those gourmet cheeses Seize enough to fil a room So make it count, drain your bank account, it's paramount to pay the least It's not moronic, it's cheap electronics, so pounce on it like a beast Black Friday... So just keep shoppin', there ain't no stoppin', keep soppin' up the greed It's oh so merry to be so buried by very much stuff you don't need Black Friday....

Lunatic Fringe Went Mainstream It used to be such fun sitting way out on the fringe An ultra left wing socialist making conservatives cringe Cavorting with the Greenpeace and the Communista crowds Views so unpopular, that’s what made me proud The lunatic fringe went main stream, now it’s no fun anymore It’s hard to be subversive when y’all open up the door I want to be a radical but now it’s such a bore Since the lunatic fringe went main stream it’s no fun anymore Fringe groups have their purpose, both on the left and right Messing with the main stream with a willingness to fight Now major parties court them, giving them applause Promising to listen and support them in their cause Wow, that kinda ruins everything…. The lunatic fringe went main stream, now it’s no fun anymore It’s hard to be subversive when y’all open up the door I want to be a radical but now it’s such a bore Since the lunatic fringe went main stream it’s no fun anymore A rebel’s not rebellious without some crazy cause The alt right’s now just plain right, they’ve lost their teeth and claws Sorry all you firebrands, your flame is all but out Become maniacally centrist if you feel the need to shout Underground and in the shadows that was the appeal Fighting for the spotlight with unmitigated zeal God damn Bernie Sanders, now socialism’s cool God damn Donald Trump for making fascists rule The lunatic fringe went main stream, now it’s no fun anymore It’s hard to be subversive when y’all open up the door I want to be a radical but now it’s such a bore Since the lunatic fringe went main stream it’s no fun anymore

What Scares Me Radical Jihadists they don’t scare me much They’re so far away that they seem out of touch Illegal immigrants don’t fill me with fear They come here to work hard, I welcome them here Black folks aren’t scary and have never been I can live with gangbangers, despite all their sins I don’t fear the Russians or the Chinese as well I’m not scared of violence from big drug cartels Chorus I’m not scared of most people or monsters or ghosts But there’s one group out there that frightens me most They will always get me to get up and run That’s angry rednecks with big loaded guns Republicans and Conservative Christians scare me too…. They go off all half cocked and mostly unhinged Sucking up rage from the Fox News they’ve binged Consumed by anger and filled with contempt Crushing the civil with each new attempt Republicans they scare me ‘cause they fuel the fire Raising their dander and pumping their ire Christians are scary ‘cause they give their blessing To destroy the decent with no less confessing Chorus Now that’s some scary stuff there….. So come on sane people, don’t let ‘em take over What we really need is a social makeover Or one day they’ll blow and destroy this land Let’s take ‘em down ‘cause they’re way out of hand Chorus

Post Truth Era Hillary is a zombie alien risen from the grave Comes to abduct your children and turn them into slaves Hitler didn’t die in that bunker like they say He came back as Elvis who is still alive today Tell a lie enough times, eventually it’s true Read it in the fake news that’s made up just for you Presaged by George Orwell in 1984 It’s the post truth era ‘cause reality’s a bore Vaccines cause autism, the feds created AIDS To kill off minorities before they make the grade The government controls the weather, climate change is a scam Cooked up by the media ‘cause they don’t give a damn Tell a lie enough times, eventually it’s true Read it in the fake news that’s made up just for you Presaged by George Orwell in 1984 It’s the post truth era ‘cause reality’s a bore Bigfoot is conspiring with the ghost of JFK To poison all our water and kill us all today Prince and Michael Jackson are alive and have a plan To turn our country into Islam-Ameristan 70% of what our president says ain’t true That don’t seem to matter much to folks like me and you Double down on doublespeak, make it up as you go Facts are inconvenient and are not part of this show Tell a lie enough times, eventually it’s true Read it in the fake news that’s made up just for you Presaged by George Orwell in 1984 It’s the post truth era ‘cause reality’s a bore

Secular Humanist Holidays Christmas is for Christians, and Hanukah’s for Jews The Africans have Kwanzaa, but what to do with you? Pagans have winter solstice, Islam has Ramadan But what pray tell makes a secular humanist party on? I know I shouldn’t wish you “Happy Holidays” That implies the holy which you think is dumb and gay Would a wish of “Season’s Greetings” somehow offend? What pray tell can I wish for my secular atheist friend? A secular humanist celebration, spreading neutrality across the nation Have a Merry Whatever, I guess A secular humanist celebration, since Christmas causes consternation Have a Happy Something no less Hide that new menorah, stash that manger scene Don’t read from the Torah, I won’t wear red and green I’m not one who’ll ever knock the views that you espouse But one thing I agree, it’s dumb to have a tree inside your house I won’t tease your kids with myths of Santa With cold hard truth they can’t recant ya Kids need to know that reindeer can’t fly That’s just another Christmas lie I won’t deck your halls with my religious folly To simply exist on Planet Earth is cause to be jolly Far be it from me to cause a major rift But do you still expect me to buy you some dumb gift? A secular humanist celebration, spreading neutrality across the nation Have a Merry Whatever It Is A secular humanist celebration, since Christmas causes consternation Have a Happy None of My Biz Have a Happy Whatever, I guess And a Merry Something, no less

Rally Round the Racist Pig Rally Round the racist pig Heil Herr Trump the man we dig Brain is small but ego’s big Rally round the racist pig Once our nation was so split A deep divide you must admit Now we’re done with all that shit A racist pig will fix all this Thanks to all you on the right You really know how to unite We’ll play nice without a fight A racist pig’s a sheer delight With joy the left will fall in line And make no plans to undermine The biggest butthole of all time A racist pig will do just fine America is great again Thanks to a perv with orange skin Now the healing can begin A racist pig is sure to win Some won’t take this lying down A president, a cartoon clown Embarrassment and shame abound They’ll burn that mutha to the ground

Guilty By Association I understand you’re a decent person Sunday church and very little cursin’ You’re not outwardly a racist, that I can see But you’re causing me to loose some sleep Not so much you but the company you keep Let’s just say they and I really really disagree Chorus You’re guilty by association Guilty of discrimination Guilty as a red handed crook Guilty by association Guilty of abominations Guilty as charged in my book You’ll welcome in the neo Nazis Crazy yes, how can you not see Homophobes and Xenophobes galore Y’all welcome in the Ku Klux Klan And each misogynistic man The Jesus freaks I guess I can ignore Chorus You say you welcome minorities Must be a low priority The prey don’t hang around the lion’s den Technically they are allowed A blemish on a snow white crowd That don’t exactly say come on in If you want to try real inclusion Get diversity infusion Be more selective with the friends you make Otherwise just drop the illusion End your worry and confusion And slither off on your belly with the snakes

I Hope I Die of Something Someday You know my man Bill Gates Wants to eliminate The scourge of all infectious disease He buys the poorest folks more breath So they can slowly starve to death The Reaper won’t go down with simple ease Now Zuckerburg’s joined in Says ALL disease must end Life expectancy is sure to rise New drugs and new machines And messing with our genes Couldn’t possibly lead to an uglier surprise Chorus I don’t want to live forever That ain’t Ma Nature’s way Life is only precious When you know it will fade away There’s beauty in our passing So I don’t intend to stay I hope I die of something someday Now the latest fight Puts ageing in its sights We’ll live to be 200 pretty soon I’m sure I would get bored With that much time or more Hell, I get tired of summer by late June So give me heart disease Let me cough and wheeze Let pneumonia take me out when I’m old I want death to unhide What’s on the other side It’s likely not as scary as we’re told Chorus Pancreatic cancer or perhaps a massive stroke Maybe emphysema from all the years I smoked No coronary bypass or iron lung for me I want to taste the sweetness of death’s eternity Chorus

New GOP This ain’t your daddy’s GOP no more… Once you were legitimate, an economic plan Easing regulations would help the working man But by the 1990’s, y’all took an ugly turn You courted far right crazies and the votes that they could churn You tried to axe Bill Clinton for a sweet White House blow job Now you’re all supporting the most repugnant slob A self confessed sex criminal who brags about it too No morals and no dignity, shame on all of you Conservative Saint Reagan must be turning in his grave To see his grand old party turn so recklessly depraved Their brand new colors shining through, they’re not red white and blue Now they’re screaming neon orange with bile green goo GOP, that’s grab our pussies… Now it’s a stupid circus, you’re an international joke Any shred of decency has now gone up in smoke The ultimate embarrassment upon the grand world stage Thank you all, you’ve ushered in a new disgusting age At least back in the day it wasn’t spoken, though implied Now you have no shame, so there’s no need to hide I’m glad it’s in the open, just what you’re all about Anyone with any sense should hurry to get out GOP, that’s guns over people… R is now for racist, E for enciting violence P is now for pussy that you’re free to grab in silence U is for ugly, B is for bombast L is for the lying even when caught in the act I is for insane, or maybe for inane C for crude or crassness, infecting all your brains A is for asshole, N for no respect S is for the sickening we’ve now come to expect