1. |
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Before the Q conspiracy
He was never known to me
I didn't know he was my leader
Or that he was a baby eater
I met him at a barbecue
Where I met the Clinton's too
Grillin' up a mess of babies
Said wanna try? I said maybe
I'm eating babies with George Soros
Yum yum yum I want some more-os
Tender meat I so adore-os
Eating babies with George Soros
Before we eat we pray to Satan
Then it's on to masticatin'
AOC's participatin'
Got Bernie's plate without him waitin'
Joe Biden's gobbling up the fat
He likes 'em deep fried in a vat
Kamala Harris likes it rare
It's said she even eats the hair
Spielberg loves the kid kabobs
Jane Fonda's chewing gristle globs
Rachael Maddow's 'bout to hurl
She'll only eat the baby girls
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2. |
Abolish the Handshake
02:27
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It's gross and dirty and it's full of germs
It might have eggs from intestinal worms
It's been places that were never planned
I'm talking about your grubby right hand
It caught your cough then it rubbed your nose
It was caked in dust from a bag of Cheetos
You licked 'em clean now the microbes grow
Now you wanna shake hands I don't think so
Shakin' my hand so unsanitary
Shakin' my hand your germs are pretty scary
Shakin' my hand you're making me wary
Keep your cooties to yourself
Shakin' my hand so uncontemporary
Shakin' my hand during mid January
Shakin' my hand you're a viral emissary
Keep your cooties to yourself
If one good thing comes from this pandemic
Let's end this custom that has been endemic
It's always been gross but so systemic
Abolish the handshake, I hereby condemn it
How 'bout a bow or maybe a nod
We can greet each other without touching bods
Don't want your cold or your Covid 19
Don't shake my hand even if it's clean
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3. |
Animal Jail
02:18
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I saw the lion at the local zoo
A fine tuned predator through and through
He doesn't roar or strut around at all
He lays around the pen just licking his balls
Out in the wild he'd have miles to roam
Now a 30 yard enclosure is his only home
He'll never know the thrill of the chase
Reduced to a prop for your fat kid's face
He's in animal jail, animal jail
Stuck chasing his tail, in animal jail
Cross the ocean he sailed to animal jail
It's life without bail he's in animal jail
Next I saw the chimpanzee
I yelled "hey monkey, start amusing me!"
He look bored and a little bit blue
The right at my head, he flung some poo
He's in animal jail, animal jail
Stuck chasing his tail, chimps don't have a tail
Cross the ocean he sailed to animal jail
It's life without bail he's in animal jail
You say he's better off where he's at
Well fed and cared for and all of that
It's bad enough that we wrecked his habitat
Welcome to suburbia, hope you can adapt
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4. |
O Death
03:29
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What is this that I can't see
With ice cold hands taking hold of me
Well I am Death none can excel
I'll open the door the Heaven or Hell
O Death someone would pray
Could you wait and call me another day
The children prayed the preacher preached
Time and mercy are out of your reach
O Death, O Death won't you spare me over til another year
I'll fix your feet til you can't walk
I'll lock your jaw til you can't talk
I'll close your eyes so you can't see
This very hour come and go with me
I'm Death I come to take the soul
Leave the body, leave it cold
To draw the flesh up off the frame
Dirt and worm both have a claim
O Death, O Death won't you spare me over til another year
Oh my momma came to bed
Placed a cold towel on my head
My head is warm my feet are cold
Death is a-movin' upon my soul
O Death how you're treating me
You've closed my eyes so I can't see
Hurt my body, make me cold
You run the life right out of my soul
O Death, O Death won't you spare me over til another year
O Death consider my age
Please don't take me at this stage
My wealth is all at your command
If you will move your icy hand
The young, the old, the rich, the poor
They're all alike to me you know
No wealth, no land, no silver, no gold
Nothing satisfies me but your soul
O Death, O Death won't you spare me over til another year
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5. |
Horde Toilet Paper
02:23
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6. |
Hey! That's Socialism!
01:57
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Do you like free public school? Hey! That's Socialism!
And the Fire Department too? Hey! That's Socialism!
Is your granny with blue hair kept alive by Medicare?
In case you weren't aware Hey! That's Socialism!
On Worker's Comp today? Hey! That's Socialism!
Farm subsidies we pay Hey! That's Socialism!
Gramps at 83 lives on Social Security
In case you didn't see Hey! That's Socialism!
Using private money to be spent on public good
Like fixing up the old park in your old neighborhood
You've secretly been Socialist this whole entire time
Marx is in your heart if he's not inside your mind
Free college for your kid Hey! That's Socialism!
Free healthcare, done and did Hey! That's Socialism!
We all chip in a share so let's try to make it fair
Amazon must pay pay Hey! That's Socialism!
Jeff Bezos gonna pay Hey! That's Socialism!
It was our cash anyway Hey! That's Socialism!
I mean seriously, a multibillionaire with a trillion dollar company
And you don't pay jack?
God, what a dick.....
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7. |
Just Stop It
03:49
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Shut up, just wear the stupid mask
It's stupid that I even have to ask
Stop the stupid shouting out in the street
Stop this spinning madhouse at my feet
No dumb political games
Yes, the stupid other side's to blame
You can't just make up stupid stuff
My stupid meter's maxed out enough
For the love of God, just stop it
For the love of God, just cut it out
For the love of God, just stop it
In the name of all that's holy cut it out
Stop the stupid Facebook ranting
No liberal outrage reprimanding
Stop buying bunk conspiracies
It all stops right here I'll see
Just stop the stupid greenhouse gas
Stop squeezing out the middle class
Stop praising money like it's a fuckin' king
Stop just about everything
For the love of God, just stop it
For the love of God, just cut it out
For the love of God, just stop it
In the name of all that's holy cut it out
$9 latte Just stop it!
Killing unarmed black people Just stop it!
New model of iPhone Just stop it!
Tax breaks for the uber rich Just stop it!
$42 hospital band aid Just stop it!
Killing off endangered species Just stop it!\
All that white supremacy crap Just stop it!
Profiting off of religion Just stop it!
Miles and miles of strip malls Just stop it!
Assault rifles at a peaceful protest Just stop it!
I could go on and on and on.....
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8. |
I Can See Clearly Now
03:40
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9. |
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Verse 2
O Beautiful for black and white
And all shades in between
For immigrants through tireless toil
Would realize the dream
America America we welcome one and all
Community in unity
Together we stand tall
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Adam Baum Lydick, Indiana
Has been on Dr. Demento and the Funny Music Project, so at least a few people thought it was funny, besides, Kurt thinks it is, and ya know, that's cool enough.
